Tag: Real poetry

AOP, Quotes, Writings

Last Days Of Our Lives

Author of pain

We go through so much struggle for a life that even tho belongs to you, can be taken away from you at any point without your consent. Is this struggle worth it? So many people struggle with this debate in their mind. I won’t tell you that the struggle is worth it, but what I’ll tell you is, with patience, comes ease. The struggle might seem worthless, the dark days might seem never ending, but with standing strong and never giving up, i can tell you that these dark days, will be the good old times you’ll laugh about in the future. This piece reminds me of my favorite quote which proves nothing is permanent. “This too shall pass”.
Remember, it’s REAL till the day we die. If you ever feel like you need someone to talk to, someone that really understands what you’re going through, then you can always reach out to me. Author Of Pain will always be there, no matter what.

AOP, Quotes, Writings

FRENEMIES

Author of pain

Your enemies can always try, but they can never truly hurt you. They can always try, but they’ll never truly see you fall. Those creatures called friends, those are the ones you should be mindful of. Cause they’ll hurt you over and over and over again. They’ll eat with you, laugh with you, do everything with you, but behind your back, they’ll stab you over and over again because you gave them the chance to. Believing that everyone you love will hurt you is without doubt a lie, but believing the ones you love would never hurt you is a much bigger lie. Remember;
Sometimes the person you’re taking a bullet for, is actually the one pulling the trigger.

AOP, Poetry

Things I Had

Author of pain

Dear life,
Hi, its me again.
I know in my numerous previous poems,
I had talked about how you were never going to see me fall,
I talked about how i was always gonna stand tall,
Even when you try to make me fall.
I’ve always been a victim of your bad side,
For all I’ve ever known
Is nothing but pains.
You’ve seen me fall many a times,
But you never saw me cry,
That’s how strong I’ve been.
For i fought with every single drop of blood in me.
Guess i really did fought with every drop of blood in me,
Cause the heart beat in my chest feels weak tonight.
Guess this is the final goodbye,
Dear life guess you finally won,
This is my end.
I don’t see any reason for me not to take my life anymore.
This is the end of my road.

But before i leave you,
O cruel world,
I will make a list of the things i had.
Know if I’ll be missed or forgotten,
And prolly know if being alive is still worth it.
So this is a list of the things i had ;
I had a caring family,
That loved me to the moon and back,
A family that gave its all just to see the best of me.
A family that sacrificed it’s all,
Just to see a smile on my face.
Do i pay this family back with suicide?
Or what about the friends i had,
That supported me physically, emotionally and mentally,
The real gees,
The friends that were there,
When family could not.
How selfish of me will it be,
To cause them pains by ending my life,
To gain eternal peace?
Will there ever be an eternal peace for me,
Hurting and breaking their hearts
By committing suicide.
Some had legs but could not walk,
Some had eyes but could not see,
Some had ears but could not hear.
I had all these and they worked perfectly fine.

I had thought i had no reasons not to take my life,
But the little things i had,
Which i overlooked,
We’re the reasons i could ever need,
Not to end my life.
So dear life,
It’s me again.
You might have won again,
But this is not the end of me,
For the things i had are far more greater than those
I didn’t.
And for the things i had,
I’ll keep on fighting.

AOP, Poetry

I Was That Kid

Author of pain

The other boys always laughed at me,
The kid that always sits at the back of the class.
The one with
his head down,
to conceal his lost frown. The one whose confusion led to
All the students intrusion.
I was that kid.
My tears was the other boys fun,
they most enjoyed teasing me of my attire.
As they ridiculed me and called me names,
I hid my face in great shame.
The bruises on my skin were not punishments for my own skins,
but they were cruelty for my differences,
and the consequences of my existence.
I was that kid.
I couldn’t concentrate on my studies as it was me vs the rest,
because I knew what
They’d do when they found me in the hall.
The teachers says I obviously didn’t try.
But they don’t know I break down and cry when I’m alone.
I did put in effort,
I did my part; maybe I was not just smart.
Then came the pressure from family, who were so clearly disappointed that my grades were bad.
I was punished,
And picked on for the rest of the year,
because I gave up on my future.
The worst part was not that I was a disappointment.
It was the permanent,
Never ending embarrassment of always failing,
of never being good enough.
I was left alone, no one cared about me.
Why remain in a world that cares not for me?
So i began to think,
Then i decided to give up on life itself and
Leave this cruel world and its cruelty
But i guess i was a disappointment to even death itself,
As it also rejected,
So now I’m stuck in a world,
Where i can never be good enough,
Where i am nothing but a disappointment.
I am that kid.

AOP, Poetry

Life Won Again

Author of pain
If you need someone to talk to or you need advice, then talk to God cause he’s the only one that listens even when you think he isn’t.

Dear life,
I have always quetched about me being strong,
I would always ignore your despairs and count my blessings,
I had said to myself,
Life is tough but I am tougher,
Now I don’t know who is tougher.
I have never hated you like I do right now,
Cause all you ever do is make me cry.
Whenever I pass by,
People always say;
“there goes the one who lost his virginity at birth,
For life had started fucking him up at birth”
Dear life I know you don’t want me around anymore,
You might have won again,
But this is not the end.
You may see my cry,
But you won’t see me fall,
You can throw all you got at me,
But you’ll never see me fall.
Even though you keep on winning,
You’ll never see me fall.

Dear God,
Hi it’s me.
I know I’ve been far from you my whole life,
I’ve never needed you like I do right now,
For my whole life is crushing down and,
The heart beat in my chest feels weak,
But I don’t wanna die yet,
I just wanna find my peace.
Cause all that surrounds me are traumas,
Life won again.

AOP, Quotes

Depression, Anxiety and Loneliness: Our Darkest Demons.

Author of pain

Have you ever been surrounded by people who loves you so much but yet you still feel so lonely. It’s true that you can feel the most alone in crowds of people, who is surrounding you is more important than how many. Yes, but you can still be with a few circle who mean the world to you, loves you and shows you care that has no limit but still yet you feel so lonely like you ain’t got no one. The thing about loneliness, depression, anxiety is that once it’s in you it hardly ever leaves. Once you feel you’re depressed or lonely it’s normal instinct for you to get close to people you love, people who loves you a lot and it’s the time you start to wear the biggest smile. For a second you might feel it’s working, you might think intimacy really is the solution to it all. But when the time comes, and these demons of ours comes back at us, it breaks us so bad and then we realize it never was the solution. It’s funny how the people who we see with the biggest smiles on their faces are the ones battling with the darkest of demons. What then is the true solution to depressions, anxiety and loneliness? Some opt in to talking to God, some addiction to drugs, alcohols, some therapy and many more. So back to the question, what then is the cure?
Seeing the smile I put on people’s faces, seeing people battling with these demons read my works and then feel a little happy, feel that someone out there truly understands how they feel, seeing someone drops an honest comment of how a piece of mine helped him battle his demons, those are the ways I battle with these demons, but it’s a never ending battle for these demons never truly die. We just have to keep standing strong, wearing the biggest smiles we can, and keep doing whatever is working for us, for we all have different ways of fighting this demons, as long as these ways doesn’t add to our hurt. Suicide should never be an option for suicide doesn’t take away your pains, instead it passes your pains to your loved ones. Keep fighting and never give up……………..

AOP, Poetry

12 AGAIN

Author of pain

Wish I could be 12 again
Cause back then there were no pains
The only pains I felt
Were the bruises from playing in the field,
And the pains from losing a game.
But now the bruises from the field don’t hurt me no more.
But depressions and anxiety
They hurt me so bad.

Wish I could be 12 again
Cause back then the only person I loved was myself
So no one could hurt me so bad
But now each day,
A different hurt from a different person anew,
When I was 12
The only problem I had
Was how to get my uniforms clean for school
But now I face the problem
Of having to live with anxiety,
And dealing with depressions.

If I can be 12 again,
I’m gonna live the moment to the fullest,
Cause those were the last days,
Where I was happy but I wasn’t acting
Those were the days where I used to smile,
Those were the days where anxiety and depressions
Were only words to me.

~ Author of pain

AOP, Quotes

Author of pain quotes

Author of pain

We all got a choice to make. We could either carry the past on our shoulders or start over. But if you decide to go for the former, then you won’t be able to make much progress as when you decide to go with the latter. Carrying the past on your shoulders would always weigh you down, either good or bad. If its good, celebrate it and look for ways to be better, because if you feel your past is good and you hold onto it, not wanting to let go of it and start again, then you’ll always be at the same spot and there won’t be any progress in your life. And if its bad, see it as a lesson to learn from and start over avoiding the mistakes you made the previous time. The weight of the past is something that no one can carry on his shoulders especially when its a bad one. The thing about grief is that, you find a way to go over it, move past it, step over it, but that emptiness, it doesn’t ever goes away. So we all just have to find a way to start over, hit that reset button and go at it again. Remember the choice is yours, carry the past on your shoulders or start over, choose wisely.

AOP, Poetry

OUR INFECTIOUS SMILE

Author of pain
Smile, It’s Sunnah

Smiling is infectious,
You catch it like the flu,
When someone smiled at us today,
We started smiling too.
We passed around the corner and someone saw our grin,
When he smiled,
We realized we’d passed it on to him.
We thought about that smile
Then we realized it’s worth.

A single smile just like ours,
Could travel round the earth,
So if you feel a smile begin,
Don’t leave it undetected,
Let’s start an epidemic quick,
And get the world infected.

Remember folks,
The best form of love and kindness,
You can give to one another,
Is just a simple smile.
Cause it takes just a single smile,
To make a dark day,
Seem bright.

Keep smiling!!!

AOP, Quotes

Author of pain quotes

Author of pain
Read That Again!!!

You can’t change your friends, but you can change your friends. Yeah, that ain’t no mistake, you read it right. We all have friends, be it a lot or just few. Some we’re proud of, while some we not proud of. So if you got friends that you’re not proud of, or their behaviours and you’ve tried but failed to see that they change, it’s best you bring that friendship to an end and not try to force things to work well because an unhealthy friendship is unhealthy for you. So know that you can’t always change your friends, but you can change your friends. Still confusing???? Drop your questions in the comment section and ill reply you as soon as possible.

AOP, Writings

Birthday Message To Self

Author of pain

I can’t promise to love you forever. But on some special days like this, the love I have for you can’t be described with mere words even from the greatest of poets. I’m proud of the person you’re gradually becoming against all odds. Last year you were in a bad state, wouldn’t say you’re out of it now, but you don’t feel like you can’t be. You deal with so many silent battles but yet you find a way to make sure those around you are always happy even if you’re not. You’re phenomenal and I know it. It’s said that everything that breaks you down, could also build your character and to you even losses are victories, that’s just Phenomenal. You were made for more, you were made for greatness, I could tell that the minute I first saw you. The journey of your life might feel like a rough one, but still is an easy one cause you got families and friends who loves you a lot. The path to greatness is never an easy one, yours is one to be remembered for generations to come.

JIYO RE ABDULGAFAR✌🏾

AOP, Poetry

MENTAL NOTE

Author of pain

You all ever got this feeling,
Like you think you know it all,
And then out of the blues,
In just one moment,
That special moment,
You realized that you’ve been wrong all along.
I had always thought,
That I’m the Author of pain,
Cause I’ve always been a victim of this pain,
When asked, why choose Author of pain,
I always said;
I didn’t choose the name,
It choose me.
Maybe I’m always comfortable being sad,
Maybe no matter how hard I tried,
I’ll always be a victim of this pain.
Everything’s gonna be fine
My therapist always said,
But nothing ever seem fine with me.

This made me lock the door of happiness,
I destroyed the door of love,
I choose solitude over intimacy,
I traded my joy for my protection,
Because all intimacy ever brought to me,
Was nothing but more pains,
Or so I thought?

But in that one moment,
When I opened the door of happiness and love,
When I picked intimacy over solitude,
Then in that moment,
I saw things for what they actually were,
I’m Author of pain not because,
I am addicted to pains,
Nor was I a victim of these pains,
I am Author of pain,
Not because I was comfortable being sad,
But because I was a master of it,
I could turn your pains into happiness,
I can show you millions a reason,
Why the pains you might be going through is not the end of you,
With my words,
I could heal you of all your pains,
With my poetry,
I can turn your pains,
To your mental Notes.

Guest

Dark Desire

Author of pain

But love, that word,
In a city where love goes by the name of every street,
Every house, every apartment,
Of every room, of every bed.
Of all the dreams,
Of everything forgotten,
Of every memory.
My love,
I don’t love you because of me, or you, or both of us.
I don’t love you because the blood calls me to love you.
I love you because you’re not mine.
Because you’re on the other side.

AOP, Poetry

OUR FAVOURITE SONG

Author of pain

OUR FAVOURITE SONG

I wish i could see you one more time,
Just hearing your name makes me realize,
How much meaning you added to my life.
Each time i try to forget about you and move on,
Our favourite song comes up on the radio,
And listening to it alone,
Makes me realize just how much I miss you.
I dream of hearing your voice everyday,
But reality dawns a rainy day,
And now I’m,
Sadness, tears and blues.
I know you didn’t mean to hurt me,
But death gave you no choice,
Snatching you away from me.
Your soul appears to me everyday,
Telling me everything is fine and i should move on,
But i wish i was dead,
So we could listen to our favorite song together,
In a better place.

– Author Of Pain.