Hope – Author Of Pain Real Poetry

It’s been a cold 365 days of living in anger, pain, depression, anxiety, pushing loved ones away, loneliness, OCD, low self esteem, S. A. D, among many other emotions. 2024 was not really the darkest of times for me as the previous years have seen me at my lowest. 2024 has been a year of epiphany. These circumstances don’t get to define who I am anymore, I mean I’m not the only one who thinks I’ve got a bad fu**ng life, so I quit playing the victim. Of all time I found myself drowning, I was the only one who picked myself back up, and that’s when I realized that I’m the only one who can help myself, so I had to take charge and quit playing the victim. I guess people will always hurt you, but that’s only when you give them the chance to. You can’t let anyone tell you who to be or write your narratives, you’ve got to be the author of your own life cause nobody can do that better than you. This past year was filled with days where the only thoughts on my head were suicidal, I’m glad o survived this phase and now I’m going to try something else like talking to God more often, cause I found out that he’s the only one that truly listens even when we think he isn’t. So whenever I’ve got questions, I need advice, or the suicidal thoughts starts coming back, then I’ll talk to God.

As I close the chapter on 2024, I’m reminded that although the darkness isn’t gone yet, the darkness I’ve faced has not been in vain. It’s thought me resilience, self awareness and the importance of self care. I’ve learned to acknowledge my emotions, to confront my demons, and to seek help when I need it. Most importantly, I’ve discovered that I am stronger than I thought, and that I have the power to choose how I respond to life’s challenges. I can choose to let my experiences defines me, or I can use them as fuel to drive my growth and transformation, that’s an epiphany. As I step into the new year, I’m filled with a sense of hope and renewal. I know that there’ll still be ups and downs ahead, but I’m ready to face them head-on. I’m ready to take control of my life, to chase my dreams, and to live with purpose and intention.

A year of transformation: From victim to victor.

To anyone who may be struggling, I see you, I hear you, I believe in you and most importantly, God hears you and sees you as well. Remember that you are not alone, and that there is always hope for a brighter tomorrow. Don’t give up, even when the darkness feels like it’s never ending, keep pushing forward, even when it feels like the smallest of steps. You are stronger than you think, braver than you feel, and loved more than you know. Don’t let anyone, including yourself, define your worth. You are worthy of love, care and compassion – not just from others but from yourself. Hold on to hope, and know that better days are definitely ahead. Keep shining your light, even in the darkest of times. And always remember that you are loved, you are valued, and you are enough. You don’t know this, but God resides in you.

The darkest nights lead to the brightest dawns.

Hope. The word they used in lying to us. They told us hope is a word that holds promise and light. But in reality, it’s nothing but a cruel deception that’s slowly devouring our souls. What is hope to someone who has lost everything? Hope is nothing but a lie to maintain the happiness of the fortunate, and deepen the sorrows of the afflicted. Hope is never a cure to depression, anxiety, loneliness or any other S. A. D out there. Perhaps it’s time for people to face the cold truth. The truth that happiness and sadness are meant to coexist, and the sad ones should stop striving to be happy at all costs, because even sad people can have happy moments, and that’s all that matters. When you’re in your happy moment, enjoy it while it lasts but never get too comfortable. I know i once told y’all that the cure to pain isn’t something you buy in the liquor store. Maybe I’ve been looking at the wrong stores? I was blinded by the false hope of a sunny day. It’s not the hurt that comes from being sad that causes depression, but rather the constant striving and failing to achieve happiness. I am lost in my own words, but one thing I know of is that, depression isn’t the killer. It’s the hope that kills. The hope of a sunny day, the hope of being consistently happy, the hope of becoming better, the hope that at the end, everything will be alright, the hope that makes you feel you were destined for more, for greatness, leaving us yearning for something unattainable, that’s the hope that kills.

How long before that hope kills you?
Perhaps it’s time to let go of that hope? Let the chains of hope fall away, and in its place, find peace within yourself in the acceptance of your reality.

Tag: Hope

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