Tag: Author of pain poetry

AOP, Poetry

Things I Had

Author of pain

Dear life,
Hi, its me again.
I know in my numerous previous poems,
I had talked about how you were never going to see me fall,
I talked about how i was always gonna stand tall,
Even when you try to make me fall.
I’ve always been a victim of your bad side,
For all I’ve ever known
Is nothing but pains.
You’ve seen me fall many a times,
But you never saw me cry,
That’s how strong I’ve been.
For i fought with every single drop of blood in me.
Guess i really did fought with every drop of blood in me,
Cause the heart beat in my chest feels weak tonight.
Guess this is the final goodbye,
Dear life guess you finally won,
This is my end.
I don’t see any reason for me not to take my life anymore.
This is the end of my road.

But before i leave you,
O cruel world,
I will make a list of the things i had.
Know if I’ll be missed or forgotten,
And prolly know if being alive is still worth it.
So this is a list of the things i had ;
I had a caring family,
That loved me to the moon and back,
A family that gave its all just to see the best of me.
A family that sacrificed it’s all,
Just to see a smile on my face.
Do i pay this family back with suicide?
Or what about the friends i had,
That supported me physically, emotionally and mentally,
The real gees,
The friends that were there,
When family could not.
How selfish of me will it be,
To cause them pains by ending my life,
To gain eternal peace?
Will there ever be an eternal peace for me,
Hurting and breaking their hearts
By committing suicide.
Some had legs but could not walk,
Some had eyes but could not see,
Some had ears but could not hear.
I had all these and they worked perfectly fine.

I had thought i had no reasons not to take my life,
But the little things i had,
Which i overlooked,
We’re the reasons i could ever need,
Not to end my life.
So dear life,
It’s me again.
You might have won again,
But this is not the end of me,
For the things i had are far more greater than those
I didn’t.
And for the things i had,
I’ll keep on fighting.

AOP, Poetry

I Was That Kid

Author of pain

The other boys always laughed at me,
The kid that always sits at the back of the class.
The one with
his head down,
to conceal his lost frown. The one whose confusion led to
All the students intrusion.
I was that kid.
My tears was the other boys fun,
they most enjoyed teasing me of my attire.
As they ridiculed me and called me names,
I hid my face in great shame.
The bruises on my skin were not punishments for my own skins,
but they were cruelty for my differences,
and the consequences of my existence.
I was that kid.
I couldn’t concentrate on my studies as it was me vs the rest,
because I knew what
They’d do when they found me in the hall.
The teachers says I obviously didn’t try.
But they don’t know I break down and cry when I’m alone.
I did put in effort,
I did my part; maybe I was not just smart.
Then came the pressure from family, who were so clearly disappointed that my grades were bad.
I was punished,
And picked on for the rest of the year,
because I gave up on my future.
The worst part was not that I was a disappointment.
It was the permanent,
Never ending embarrassment of always failing,
of never being good enough.
I was left alone, no one cared about me.
Why remain in a world that cares not for me?
So i began to think,
Then i decided to give up on life itself and
Leave this cruel world and its cruelty
But i guess i was a disappointment to even death itself,
As it also rejected,
So now I’m stuck in a world,
Where i can never be good enough,
Where i am nothing but a disappointment.
I am that kid.

AOP, Poetry

Life Won Again

Author of pain
If you need someone to talk to or you need advice, then talk to God cause he’s the only one that listens even when you think he isn’t.

Dear life,
I have always quetched about me being strong,
I would always ignore your despairs and count my blessings,
I had said to myself,
Life is tough but I am tougher,
Now I don’t know who is tougher.
I have never hated you like I do right now,
Cause all you ever do is make me cry.
Whenever I pass by,
People always say;
“there goes the one who lost his virginity at birth,
For life had started fucking him up at birth”
Dear life I know you don’t want me around anymore,
You might have won again,
But this is not the end.
You may see my cry,
But you won’t see me fall,
You can throw all you got at me,
But you’ll never see me fall.
Even though you keep on winning,
You’ll never see me fall.

Dear God,
Hi it’s me.
I know I’ve been far from you my whole life,
I’ve never needed you like I do right now,
For my whole life is crushing down and,
The heart beat in my chest feels weak,
But I don’t wanna die yet,
I just wanna find my peace.
Cause all that surrounds me are traumas,
Life won again.

AOP, Poetry

12 AGAIN

Author of pain

Wish I could be 12 again
Cause back then there were no pains
The only pains I felt
Were the bruises from playing in the field,
And the pains from losing a game.
But now the bruises from the field don’t hurt me no more.
But depressions and anxiety
They hurt me so bad.

Wish I could be 12 again
Cause back then the only person I loved was myself
So no one could hurt me so bad
But now each day,
A different hurt from a different person anew,
When I was 12
The only problem I had
Was how to get my uniforms clean for school
But now I face the problem
Of having to live with anxiety,
And dealing with depressions.

If I can be 12 again,
I’m gonna live the moment to the fullest,
Cause those were the last days,
Where I was happy but I wasn’t acting
Those were the days where I used to smile,
Those were the days where anxiety and depressions
Were only words to me.

~ Author of pain

AOP, Poetry

OUR INFECTIOUS SMILE

Author of pain
Smile, It’s Sunnah

Smiling is infectious,
You catch it like the flu,
When someone smiled at us today,
We started smiling too.
We passed around the corner and someone saw our grin,
When he smiled,
We realized we’d passed it on to him.
We thought about that smile
Then we realized it’s worth.

A single smile just like ours,
Could travel round the earth,
So if you feel a smile begin,
Don’t leave it undetected,
Let’s start an epidemic quick,
And get the world infected.

Remember folks,
The best form of love and kindness,
You can give to one another,
Is just a simple smile.
Cause it takes just a single smile,
To make a dark day,
Seem bright.

Keep smiling!!!

AOP, Poetry

MENTAL NOTE

Author of pain

You all ever got this feeling,
Like you think you know it all,
And then out of the blues,
In just one moment,
That special moment,
You realized that you’ve been wrong all along.
I had always thought,
That I’m the Author of pain,
Cause I’ve always been a victim of this pain,
When asked, why choose Author of pain,
I always said;
I didn’t choose the name,
It choose me.
Maybe I’m always comfortable being sad,
Maybe no matter how hard I tried,
I’ll always be a victim of this pain.
Everything’s gonna be fine
My therapist always said,
But nothing ever seem fine with me.

This made me lock the door of happiness,
I destroyed the door of love,
I choose solitude over intimacy,
I traded my joy for my protection,
Because all intimacy ever brought to me,
Was nothing but more pains,
Or so I thought?

But in that one moment,
When I opened the door of happiness and love,
When I picked intimacy over solitude,
Then in that moment,
I saw things for what they actually were,
I’m Author of pain not because,
I am addicted to pains,
Nor was I a victim of these pains,
I am Author of pain,
Not because I was comfortable being sad,
But because I was a master of it,
I could turn your pains into happiness,
I can show you millions a reason,
Why the pains you might be going through is not the end of you,
With my words,
I could heal you of all your pains,
With my poetry,
I can turn your pains,
To your mental Notes.

AOP, Poetry

Conversation with my demon

Author of pain

What are you scared of me?
If it wasn’t for me you would have never grown to be Author of pain,
I’ve been here for you, but how come you’re never there for me?
It’s a little bit twisted, but I miss when you and I had peaceful dreams,
But now all we have are scary dreams.
I remember when you still cried in your room,
Wishing you still had a heart……
Shut up! I don’t wanna hear about that,
Well that’s too bad Author of pain,
Now where we’re we?
We all wished you still had a heart tho,
So we wouldn’t have to read dark poems all the time.
You told me you don’t want me in your life,
Well that’s pretty hard to digest,
Cause without me you wouldn’t be here,
Told you I’ll leave when I die, but I ain’t dead yet.
You keep on talking to me like we are strangers,
But the funny thing is that we’ve been together since you were a kid.
Took you from the moment you lost your heart,
Told you everything will be alright,
Now you want to cut me off like I was never a part of you.
If you didn’t want me in your life,
You wouldn’t have let me in, in the first place,
It’s comfortable here and I love it.
You say you want to own your life,
Then wake up and take your own advice,
Guess you didn’t tell no one about the coldest of nights,
Where I helped you hold your pen…
Hey, shut up. I don’t want to hear another sentence,
I’m Author of pain,
Is it me or my demon talking?
What a dumb question,
Cause you and I are both one.
It’s real poetry till the day we die,
Isn’t that the slogan aop?
I thought I told you to shut up?
So what, you know I never listen to you,
You listen to me.
You’ll spend the rest of your life at the back of my mind,
I thought you had me in prison this whole time,
But I was the one holding the keys.

AOP, Poetry

The Story Of A Boy I Know

Author of pain

Let me tell you a story.
A story about someone I know,
It’s a story about a boy who came into this world,
Decades ago.
He has a collection of scars in his heart,
Nether received a kiss from a friend nor lover,
Nor felt the warmth of this cold world
He was a virgin and he was not a Virgin,
For life had fucked him up so many a times.
Despite all these odds
Life had displayed before him,
He still had his dreams to accomplish.
He painfully swims through his trauma, giving his all,
Just to have a smile on his face.
With time,
It dawned on everyone
That he never craved for
Money nor love,
But whom to trust
And whom to help him find his true self,
For he had only one dream,
To heal the world of its pain.
This is the story of a boy I know,
And that boy is
Author Of Pain.

AOP, Poetry

Lonely Addiction

Author of pain

Born in a trauma
It all started with a dream
And God made me realize
Life isn’t what you think it is
Selfishly inspired by a lonely heart
That brought me to my knees,
Now I realize that,
It’s ok to text me only when you need me,
It’s fine to remember me only on my birthdays,
It’s ok to not call me,
For life is not that hard.

Heart broken beyond repair,
Eyes wide open now,
I’m finally addicted to this loneliness,
This is the moment where everything changes,
This is the time to change,
This is where I draw the line,
I can no longer take it.
I don’t want to be selfish anymore,
It’s ok to forget about me,
For most of my life,
I’ve always felt invincible.

AOP, Poetry

Angel In Hell

Author of pain

I met an angel in hell,
She looked so evil with fire in her eyes,
But she had to be an angel,
Cause I’ve trashed the earth for so long,
And never saw anyone like her,
Her magical eyes, calling me to her,
Her voice was like a bell calling for a dance,
Her kiss makes hell feel like paradise,
Let’s produce kings and Queens,
She said to me.
But to do that,
I have to sign a deal with the devil himself,
Even if the deal was a very tempting one,
The devil is someone I promised never to negotiate with,
For he gives nothing for free,
Only eternal pains.
Indeed, she was the most beautiful creature
My eyes have met,
A beautiful angel
But,
An angel in hell.

AOP, Poetry

A Hopeless Man’s Plea

Author of pain
There’s always a hope in hopeless, therefore there’s always hope even for he who thinks he is hopeless – Author Of Pain.

Hope is something I am not accustomed to,
But what is hope to a man who’s lost his faith?
Having trust for other people is something I don’t know how to do.
I say to myself, i can do it alone.
But I don’t know if I really can.
It’s like I’m dying slowly of hunger,
And then you offer me your breakfast,
But I would rather decline it and stay hungry
Than to accept that which you offer me.
What’s wrong with me?

You said, you’ve always got your hands out for anyone who needs redemption,
I guess I can’t continue alone, so take my hands now.
I give you everything, not just a little bit.
My soul is lost and what it needs is your direction.
I know I’ve said that I don’t trust in anyone,
But I lied to myself and
Everyone else.
I trust in you and all I want is your direction and to be in your light
Oh God.

Trust in God, and there’ll always be hope even when you think all his lost.

AOP, Poetry

Hatred For Love

Author of pain

This thing called love, it can be so cold, It can be miserable, Or it can be beautiful. Sometimes it’s amazing
Sometimes it’s crazy. This thing called love. love is like a drug that everybody uses, You wanna know the outcome, Depends on how you use it, And some would say it’s tragic Some say it’s beautiful, Some say it’s black and it’s dark Like a funeral. Some would die for it, Some don’t think it’s even real. Some say they understand, But don’t know how it feels. Love could be your best friend. Love can be your enemy. Love can be the thing you wish you had, But you don’t ever see. I’m gonna sugarcoat it. Yeah, sometimes it might surround you. One minute it’s saving you. Next it’s trying to drown you Some people want to show it, But were never taught how to And some of us is searching for it Feeling like it never found you.

love is like a privilege, A lot of us abuse it. Do with it what we want, And start crying when we lose it. Pretend that it ain’t nothing to us, Pretend like it’s useless. We don’t know why we do this. But yet, we still pursue it. Love, it can consume you, Turn you into something else. Bury the real you so deep. That you can’t even find yourself. Love, it can change you. Love, it can tear you down, Be the best thing you ever had, And kick you on the ground. I don’t think it’s invisible. But I know that it’s blind

.